Sitting in the wait…

In 2017 we felt the call to foster. We had hit one of the hardest 6 months of our lives. We sold a house, found out we were pregnant, remodeled a new home, miscarried, lost a family member, found out cancer had come back in a loved one, miscarried again, and came upon the 1 year anniversary of my mother’s death. It was a really rough 6 months to say the least. A whirlwind of emotions, worry, celebration, and loss. 

Neither my wife nor I do anything too quickly. We are pretty level headed. We figured we would try a few more times to conceive on our own. As far as we “currently” know we have yet to conceive, but we have continued to feel lead to foster. We took in an 11 year old about 4 years ago that we love and adore – a story for another blog, I suppose. Having him in our family has been an absolute blessing. We were confident that him coming in to our home to be family with us was simply a way of prepping us for a future when we would adopt. 

So, fastforward 4 years, 6 months of chaos, and finally feeling like the tornado of chaos around us has subsided. 

In November we finalized everything necessary to be licensed as foster parents. Why? Apparently life was too easy. We both work full time. We have two bio kids that are 5 and under, a teenager who is ours without actually being ours, and a 72 pound fur baby. We have started a vibrant and growing church in the St. Louis Metro East, and my wife is closing out her first semester of Grad School. I mean.. what’s a fourth kid, that we know nothing about, going to add to our boring and dull life? I guess we will find out. 

We wanted to start a blog to help us keep track of the process as we push through this together as a family. We process best through written word, and also through transparency. We do not do well with putting on a face. We are far too busy to have to work hard at false relationships. We do want to work hard at capturing this process together. With all of that in mind.. We are sitting in the wait, and it is weighty. 

Every time the phone rings and the number is unknown there are 1 million thoughts that flow through my mind. Will it be a boy? Will it be a girl? What will visits be like? 1 million thoughts, and it ends up being “Sarah, from cardservices“ to tell me about Credit Cards we do not own. 

Every time the phone rings my shoulders feel heavy, the task that lay before us feels overwhelming, daunting, impossible, etc. The expectation of helping create a safe environment for a child that belongs to someone else is a bit paralyzing. The burden to care for someone the way you would care for your own child almost seems too crazy to comprehend. 

And yet, this is what we have signed up for. We have signed up to do the same thing that Jesus has done for us. Except the Father did not lose the Son because of neglect. Rather, the Father willingly ransomed his Son to gain us. While, technically, God adopts us into the family. I think there is a real and beautiful picture of real biblical Christianity within fostering. We were born into a mess, deserved nothing, and someone stepped in and took us into the family. If someone can freely surrender their kiddo to gain my family, surely we can freely provide for someone else’s kiddo in need. 

The wait is weighty. Pray that we endure. 

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